New Year, New Me?

Aloha readers, if I have any left?

2013 was a weird year to say the least. Not much happened for me and it was a turmoil of emotions.

Even Christmas and my birthday didn't feel special, so when New Years was approaching I was relieved. I feel like I need change but I'm anxious about making resolutions as Im a procrastinator and lazy. Even my dreams were anxious about having to think of resolutions for New Years.

Heres what happened in 2013:

Meet Benny Tipene

Became a feminist

Met a boy gasp!

Went to 1D concert

Passed NCEA Level 1

Finished art board for school

Lots of success from Paramore

Writer for instagram magazine @moonrisemag

I want many things to happen in 2014 and not with a fizzle but with a bang. Im going to make 2014 extraordinary and less stressful by improving my inner and outer self.

Get Fit. I want to put better foods in my body and feel more energetic. Drink water everyday which I never do. Also do a form of exercise every morning, even if its just following Victorias Secret Sport videos (which are amazing).

Blog Better. I'd like to be putting up a blog post every Friday, an instagram photo every second day and reach 3000 followers on my tumblr, 740 to go.

Adventure. Im going to learn methods to deal with my anxiety and kick my OCDs butt. This will hopefully make me less worried about the future and more likely to improve my independence so that I can go into town more, try new things and be with the family and friends that I love. Im going to make an item of clothing, learn how to do an ace Miranda Sings impression and make a list of all the bad stuff and get rid of it. Just say yes!

Looks. Buy less clothes that I will use more, try new styles with makeup and clothes. Realise that I dont need makeup to be beautiful.

Love. The most important relationship is with myself. My mind and body need constant harmony to develop. To be more truthful to myself and others. To find love but not rely on it. To experience things and go with the flow.

Organise. My school work, my wardrobe, my mind, my life.

Happy New Years guys! Make this year a good one!

      

"My resolution is to worry less about future, wallow less in past. Just be present and focus on whatever is right in front of me." - Hayley Williams

Enjoy and accept new beginnings, Esther xx

Bubble Tea and Benny Tipene

Mi madres lace top, glad I have it, it's my new fav item of clothing.

I have an ache for love, I'm sick of the bad kind. I'm emotionally drained or maybe sick it's hard to tell, looks like this is gonna be a tough battle folks. Woah that was a draft from a few days ago. Now I'm feeling much better after being with my friends in Palmy for the day. We were suppose to see Benny Tipene at a free concert but you were suppose to win tickets to enter... at least I think you did. So we decided that we'd do something else for the day. I packed my little cousins Jack Skellington backpack and caught a bus to Palmy. I had an hour until I met Hannah at the Plaza and I had no idea how to get there so I thought I may as find find my own way there. I got to the plaza and using the testers at Farmers I applied some make up, haha I'm such a free loader. That morning I had no time to straighten my hair and I got a haircut the day before so it looked horrid. I must have looked like a hobo - using their make up, with messy hair and a backpack walking around the plaza. Hannah found me and we went into Lush so I could ask about work experience, I think they're gonna reject me but oh well. We walked to Paper Plus to find the Rookie Yearbook, no luck. We saw met Laura and her dad and we all went to Valentines for lunch which was omfg so good as it was a buffet. Even though I was so full I still bought a bubble tea because they are so good omg if you're ever in Palmerston North go to the bubble tea shop in Downtown. Then I bought a tapestry design skirt which I'm in love with and we went to see Man Of Steel which was a really good movie but I couldn't really get into it which was annoying because it was a cool movie! You don't need to know anything about Superman to understand the movie which is good for me because I'm more of a batman/spiderman person. Straight after that they had to drop me off, we only had 15 minutes to catch the bus and OMG WE SAW BENNY TIPENE FROM NZ XFACTOR AND I DID'NT CARE IF I MISSED MY BUS we jumped out of the car and ran across the road and took photos and hes so nice and tall and cute and I said that I loved it when he sang Can't take my eyes off of you!

Um so yeh I look rank but heres us with Benny.

✿Please Please Please Let me Get What I Want✿

My cousins moving house which means I'll be really lonely and I won't be able to get wifi at the house and I won't have anyone to drive me places. I'm happy for her because she's 22 and has a 6 year old son so they'll have a cute little house all to themselves but now home will feel so empty with just my aunty, uncle and I. But (fingers crossed) I'm hoping to get her room! Which I'm starting to doubt because my aunty will probably want it as a guest room. Her room has a sink with a mirror, gets sun unlike my room and is a pretty lilac colour - my favourite colour! These are just some room ideas:

Yesterday two girls from our school raised over $3000 and shaved their hair off for childrensuffering with cancer in New Zealand. It was
 really brave of them to do that, to sacrifice something of theirs for others.

Laura and I found a really nice place to sit. Next to the chapel theres a little forest and theres a bench/seat in the middle of it. It's so pretty on a sunny day, when the suns leaking through the leaves. I was going to do my art there today, but it's too windy so I migrated to the chapel.

Eww sorry I didn't brush my hair.
My laptop charger is broken :( I can't get a new one till next week so I'm constantly borrowing other peoples. Next week two exchange girls, one from Madagascar and the other from Korea are leaving :(
They're really loud and funny and nice and I'm going to miss them so much! But I'll send Rookie inspired care packages to them and the whole year group will chip in to send them stuff. I'm so excited because they said they'll send us cheap cute Kprean stationary and French lollies! I'm going to buy them Paua Shell necklaces and Hannah who I swear
has the same as me bought one of them what I was going to buy. I don't mind though Hannah - it's quite funny! Aww shucks Hannah thanks for the letter!

And sorry that I didn't see you today, I was probably in the chapel. Our school has house competitions, like on Harry Potter we earn house points and can lose them. This term we have house music. Big House, everyone is included, were doing Footloose - how original. Our house won last year with songs from Mary Poppins. We also have Small Group which is a selected group of singers from each house. Now trust me when I say this - I am not a good singer, but have somehow managed to get in every year. This year were doing My Guy, a song from the 1960s and I love it but I love our costumes more! Polka dots, cat eyes and beehives, hell yeah!

The following images are from Tumblr:

I dont want these - I need these! Go Frida!

This photo makes me want my nose piercing back!
Shes so pretty, I have no idea who she is

If I ever find a flask, Im going to do this and walk around school with it.

From new interview with Paramore, you can watch it here

✿Have a good day bby✿

Im not one of those crazy girls

Last weekend my friend Laura and I decided to take a shortcut through town back to school. We sat down in a sheltered grandstand in a rugby park and I thought it would be a place where someone would hide drugs, so we looked around and found a small circular container. We thought it would be a geocash but knowing the district we were in it probably wasnt. We were too scared to touch it, but after a few minutes with no luck from trying to open it with my clothes over my hand I opened it and there were papers inside and sure enough the familiar fume of weed was in the air. We closed it and put it back in its place, disappointed that it was just drugs. We found a sealed alcohol shot on the side of the road so I took it and its in my dorm room now but I'm too scared to drink it in case its been laced with roofies or something. Also, there was a really talented guy busking so we gave him chocolate and I wanted to stay to listen to him but we had to leave.

My friend Hannah had her 16th on Friday and Im really gutted because I didnt get her anything but I have a few ideas of homemade stuff Im gonna make for her these holidays. We had a dinner party in a cute restaurant in Palmerston North with 10 of us. Excuse the demon looks in this photo.

We were told we were being too loud, were used to the dining room at school were the noise level is just bearable. We use trays at our school so I just cant go to restaurants anymore without making a hell of a lotta mess. We said the school prayer before we ate as a joke and to remember the two friends who couldnt make it there.

This photo just cracked me up, it looks so cute but so psychotic.

\

Im at school and the weather is rainy then sunny and I have art to do so bye!

Anklebiters ate up your personality

I have been staring at this blank page for 10 minutes. No inspiration. Nothing. I don't know what to write about, what would be sensible or cool to say. I was just in a fight with my friend and I hate that. My friends and I are always fighting and I don't know what to do. I love my friends but sometimes I just need to give them space. I either care too much about people or I'm a heartless bitch and I have trouble finding my way between the two. I hate that were so hypocritical that one day we say we don't like someone and the next were best friends. Im glad that they like me for who I am, but when they don't, like today, I only have myself. And that feels both liberating and frightening at the same time. I love other people so much that sometimes I forget about myself. I forget what I am and what I stand for. Paramore have recently made a music video for Anklebiters although it is not a single, just a video for fans. I use to think that the song was negative. A bout a narsisictic person trying to get the best of you, when actually its about celebrating your differences and not letting the anklebiters get a hold of you. Im sorry I cannot post videos at the moment (somethings stuffed up with my blog) but the video can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4CWhPozi7Kg&safe=active
and also Hayley Williams wrote what her view is on being different and about Anklebiters here: http://paramore-music.com/index.php/new-message-from-hayley-williams-11/
Have a wonderful day and dont let anyone bring you down!

Hola Amigas!

My Spanish class went to a Spanish Restaurant for our speaking internal and to farewell our lovely Spanish teacher, shes getting married in about a month and her and her husband are going to China. We gave her a photo frame and a silver charm for her charm bracelet.

The food was delicioso! Especially the dessert, I got chocolate cake that came with chocolate chilli sauce which was amazing because I don't mind spicy food. This weekend Laura and I watched Springbreakers and The Purge. We were so looking forward to Springbreakers that unfortunately it kinda let us down, I loved James Franco and the other cast but I couldnt really get into it, the costumes/clothing used was amazing though!

The Purge was as good as I thought it would be, with some twists throughout. Loved the props used and the killing scenes were awesome! Yeah I'm weird like that. The movie is set in the near future America were all crime is legal for one night, crime is at an all time low because people are able to let out their anger once a year. The family that the film captures is safe behind their security system. But others are less fortunate, roaming the streets looking for help. The young boy in the family lets a helpless man inside their home which jeopardises the safety of everyone. Am I the only one that really wants this mask? Probably.

Appreciation Post: My Body

This sounds weird but I've never really thought about my body. Its just always been there. I've never 'listened' to it or really appreciated it. Its a part of me that everyone sees but I've never really sat back and thought about how much our bodies do for us. Maybe I'm thinking this way because I have a cold and been getting really bad sleep or because my friends have been downer about their bodies or maybe even because of the video that we watched in Chapel:

I've been looking into Feminism and I believe that it has given me a more positive outlook on my body regarding the fact the my body is MINE. I can do what I want with it, shave or not, wear what I feel comfortable in, wear make up or go natural. I'm going to accentuate my flaws, because hey you know what, they're MINE. 

I suppose it is easy going to a girls boarding school, we don't really wear make up to school, heck we go to school without brushing our hair most the time! That does not mean there are no put downs or sniggers when back are turned though. When I go up for seconds or thirds on lunch, I like to think that no-one gives a shit because I don't give a shit, but really they don't give a shit because I'm skinny. When a large girl goes up for seconds she is judged, I don't want it to be this way. Why are certain factors of body acceptable but others aren't? I suppose I am quite 'lucky' because I feel quite comfortable in my skin. Why is that though? Because I'm skinny? Because I have thick hair? Because I'm not the only person in the world with more pimples on their face than the number of bombs in a game of Minesweeper? (First thing that came to mind sorry)

No that is not a mane, thats my hair.

Im thinking why am I comfortable in my skin? And I have no answer. I like my body but there are days where I hate it, there always will be. I guess it's because I don't give a shit about what people think about me most the time. Ok that sounds really badass, Im actually really emotional. But I suppose its because it's not their problem. They can say what they want but it doesnt affect me because I'm not going to change for them. Being me is all that should be expected of me.
My friend Laura just said that my body wants to be poor because Ill have to buy all this pimple treament!